Disagreement is not the same as "Entitlement"

A bunch of entitled brats.

Over two centuries ago a document was written which demanded rights for a group of farmers who felt that the policies imposed by their mother government were not fair.
The document stated that there were certain rights that they were “unalienable” and are “endowed by their Creator.”
Fifty-six men then signed what is now known as the Declaration of Independence. It stands as a symbol of the greatness of our country and its beliefs.
Lately, there has been a lot of talk about the “Spirit of Entitlement.” Unfortunately, many students have changed the meaning of this phrase to suppress reform by making opinionated students feel like heretics. It seems if you don’t agree with a policy, then you are “entitled.”
By this definition that many students have concocted, the Founding Fathers had the “Spirit of Entitlement” in their hearts.
I am grateful that our Founding Fathers felt they deserved equal rights and ignored their British loyalist peers who probably felt like they were acting “entitled.”
Of course there are students who want convenient parking spaces, special academic treatment and more subsidies on tuition. These are things that a student doesn’t deserve by default.
However, if students have grievances with a policy they should be able to express them, especially if those students are speaking on something that affects the student body collectively and not for their own self-interests or special treatment.
President Kim B. Clark gave a devotional on “Protection Against the Spirit of Entitlement.” This talk was given Sept. 14, 2010.
“Often those who succumb to the spirit of entitlement feel superior to those around them, or believe certain rules should not apply to them, or that they should not be require to do what everyone else has to do,” Clark said.
It is true that a feeling that you are an exception to the rules is wrong. However, the misunderstanding that this includes anyone who disagrees with a policy and seeks for reform is a false notion.
There are many things we are not necessarily entitled to. But despite how misconstrued “the spirit of entitlement” has become, we are always entitled to opinions and the ability to lobby for change.
That’s what makes our country great.

A few comments on the responses on my column

I would like to say a few things about my recent column in light of all the animosity that I have received.

First, is curfew really for our morality? If someone wants to be sexual deviant, then curfew only becomes another rule to break.
 
Married students are not under attack in the column, so it is sad to see how many are getting defensive. The point of the column is to address inconsistencies in the honor code, not to impose a curfew on married students.
 
The "If you don't like it, then get out" argument is no better than the ignorant people who say the same thing about our country. "If you don't like the government, then you can go move to France with all the other wussies." That isn't the solution. The solution is to speak up when you don't agree with a policy.
It is true that I knew what I was signing up for when I became enrolled in the school. That doesn't mean that I should ignore the policies that I disagree with. Conversely, it means that I should help bring about change. That's the beauty of freedom, which we unfortunately do not entirely enjoy at BYU-Idaho. It disappoints me to see how many students are willing to give up there freedoms.

I have been called "immature" and "bratty" for writing the column. I fail to see the immaturity in my writing. Furthermore, I fail to see how expressing one's opinion about a policy he or she doesn't agree with denotes immaturity. If that is the case, then every active and aware citizen of this country is immature. Taking a stand on an issue rather than sitting there and "dealing with it" isn't childish. In fact, it's quite mature. 

Finally, since I wrote this article there have been a lot of attacks on me personally. This is odd considering how many people have called me immature. Though I apparently lack the maturity to lecture everyone on common decency, I will attempt it by reminding everyone that it is the opinion piece that should be under fire and not me personally.

Fairness in the BYU-Idaho honor code for single students

When I was a child, my parents gave me a curfew, chores and a designated room in my home. It was assumed that when I became an adult that I would be able to make those decisions for myself.

I am 25 years old. I pay my own tuition, housing, insurance and other bills. However, at BYU-Idaho I have a curfew, clean checks and restricted choices in housing. Despite my age, experience and amount of responsibilities, I am still treated as though I am a child.  

Contrarily, married students have no curfew, clean checks or housing restrictions. Despite the age of married students, they are treated like adults who are capable of handling themselves, which is different from the treatment of single students. For example, my 19-year-old married friend can go see the midnight showing of "Harry Potter" without fear of reprimand or punishment.

True, the honor code protects students in many ways. Curfew helps to protect the morality of students. However, these rules should be the same for all students. For instance, either married students should receive a curfew or single students should have theirs lifted.

In comparing the treatment of single and married students, one seems more privileged than the other. It is wrong to treat one group of students different than another because they haven't had the opportunity to get married. What's worse is when a single student complains about their unfair treatment, they are met with responses like, "Well, you should just get married and you won't have to worry about it." I'm trying, but thanks for the reminder.

I firmly believe that if you treat someone like a child, then they will become a child. This childish treatment of single students not only encourages immaturity, but also cripples their ability to manage themselves in a real world setting.

I do not need to be told when to come in at night, when to clean my room and where to live. I am an adult, and am capable of making my own decisions. The inconsistency in the rules is unfair and insulting to single students.

Let adults be adults, despite their marital status.

New Epidemic: Split Relationship Disorder

Working hard to keep it from spreading.

Men have feelings. That being said, a man’s feelings can be hurt.

Heartache is impossible to avoid in the dating world. However, some pain can be prevented.

When one person is not fully invested in a relationship, it can be taxing on the other. It is worse when an individual seems very invested when around the other, but tells a different story to his or her roommates. This condition is known as Split Relationship Disorder.

Though women are not necessarily to blame, they tend to have this disorder more than men do. Lately, there has been an outbreak of Split Relationship Disorder that is causing needless torment.

For example, a girl meets a guy who she enjoys being around. They go on several dates, which lead to handholding, kissing and other strong signs of affection.

The male in this situation feels safe to assume that they are a couple. However, when the female is not around him she is torn and debates ending relations with him. Thus, the guy falls victim to the girl’s indecisiveness and restraint.

The indecisiveness isn’t the lethal symptom in this ailment. Rather, hollow expressions and lack of communication are causing heartache.

Acting as two different people in a relationship is deceitful to both the victim and the deceiver. The victim feels that everything is well when it isn’t. The deceiver becomes numb by denying their apprehensions while with the other person. It’s easy to forget about another’s feelings when under the effects of this anesthesia.

There are several causes of “split relationship disorder.” For example, some feel that a committed relationship would ruin opportunities that could come while in the relationship. If you are too concerned with closing doors, then you will never open one.

Others may feel that they need time to make a decision about the relationship. This is important but should not be done while cuddling.

Communication is the cure. As a general rule, if you can talk to your roommates about him, then you should talk to him. Talk to each other. If you are still deciding whether to be in a committed relationship, then let them know. Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not. Otherwise, the pain will stronger than the discomfort of being honest.

Make a decision about being a couple before being a couple.